(source) - Breaking up is hard to do -- and it's even more difficult when the ex gets stuck in your chimney. Genoveva Nunez-Figueroa, 30, was arrested Sunday morning after police say she spent a few hours stuck in a chimney of a home of a man who had recently ended a relationship with her.
A neighbor heard the suspect crying at about 5:45 a.m. and called 911. The Ventura County Fire Department's search and rescue squad came to the scene and found Nunez-Figueroa stuck in the chimney about eight feet from the top. She had been there an estimated two hours, Capt. Renee Ferguson of the Ventura County Sheriff’s Department told KTLA TV. In order to free Nunez-Figueroa, the rescue crew had to dismantle the chimney and lubricate her with dish soap. The suspect was finally removed from the chimney around 8:15 a.m. and was transported to a hospital to be evaluated, according to KABC TV. After the evaluation, Nunez-Figueroa was arrested on suspicion of illegal entry and giving false information to police, NBC Los Angeles reports. The suspect's bail was set at $2,500 and she is due in court on Tuesday.
The homeowner, who only gave his name as "Lawrence," was away from the house when the incident happened. He told CBS Los Angeles that he knew Nunez-Figueroa. “It wasn’t Santa Claus, for sure,” Lawrence told the station. “Having someone in your chimney is like kind of a weird thing you wouldn’t expect to come home to."
Lawrence told authorities he had met the suspect online and went out with her six times before ending things recently. “It’s actually the second attempt for her trying to access the inside of my house, from the roof,” Lawrence told CBS Los Angeles. “Which just goes to show you,” he said, “you have to be careful who you meet online.” Although Lawrence now has to deal with a dismantled chimney, Nunez-Figueroa's family has offered to pay for the repair, saying the suspect is a good person.
Misleading story title right here, HuffPo. If you see a girl 6 times and then stop seeing her, that does not make her your "ex". That's a chick that you went out with a few times, probably hooked up with and thought it was kinda shitty, and decided to look elsewhere. So for this wacko to have the audacity to jump in to this dudes chimney and try to Kris Kringle it in to his living room... well it only says one thing to me: soulmates.
Somehow, some way, Genoveva Nunez-Figuerora knew beyond all knowing that she and "Lawrence" were meant for each other. Clearly he misread how those 6 magical nights had really gone down. When he found her conversation to be annoying that was actually just him not seeing her unique sense of humor and individuality. When he thought the constant texts and calls were overbearing that was actually just him failing to understand Genoveva's relentlessly loyal nature that would forever keep him safe and cared for. When he thought the sex was bad that was actually just him not being drunk enough to just enjoy it anyway. Basically everything "Lawrence" thought he knew about his time with Genoveva was just flat out wrong. She knew it, and he had to know it, one way or another. You can't stop love, "Lawrence". Unless you have like one of those faux-fireplaces that doesn't really have a chimney. That probably could have stopped her.
P.S. What a weird scene to come home to for old Lawrence. "Hey man, so your chimney is gone... There was, uh, a girl... a latino girl... not that that matters, I'm just, I mean that's just what she was... and uh, well she was in your chimney. Soooo, we got her out.... Oh and you're out of soap, too..... By the way, did you know you could use soap as lube?"
P.P.S. That neighbor definitely didn't have a normal day after this. 5:45 am and you're already helping pull women out of chimneys? That has "weird day" written all over it.