by Grant Lancaster
SOHO, NEW YORK ---
Peter Ginseng, 42, a tourist from some random town in Michigan not worth mentioning, made sexual advances toward a woman while window shopping last Thursday, and has since been the brunt of massive social media ridicule, once people noticed she was in fact entirely made of plastic.
Sources say he made several passes across the shop window trying to get her attention, then after flirtatiously waving directly across her eye line, he decided to go inside the shop and engage her verbally.
“I thought we were playing the No Blinking Game”, says Peter. "She won."
Once inside the store, Peter stood next to her gazing out the window in attempts to see what she was staring at.
“At that point, all I was thinking about was finding an opening line, a common interest, anything. She was so quiet.”
As customers slowly gathered together, gawking open-mouthed at a man standing inside a Forever 21 window display quoting Robert Burns to a mannequin, it was not long before social media erupted.
“He was just standing there, whispering the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard any one say about a plastic person”, said an onlooker.
“I wish my husband talked to me like that."
Then, in front of a small audience, the reality of what was happening slowly came over him.
“She had a pretty noticeable crease around her neckline. I thought it was a scar at first, and I told her that her 'imperfection' is what makes her beautiful, but after looking closer, I realized it was so her head could be removed.”
Slowly, Peter then turned around to discover a sea of people capturing the moment on cell phones. After a silence one could describe as 'long', a slow clap began, as the entire store started cheering him on, one by one.
“They just look way too real these days", said Peter, attemping to justify himself. "I mean, she had eye lashes. Eye lashes for Christ's sake... It's been a lonely couple years. Don't look at me like that."
Peter then ran away.
Trisha Blabonovich, General Manager of Forever 21 Soho, comments on the incident.
"This is why I don't have children."
Forever 21 has since removed the attractive mannequin and put it in storage downstairs.
Follow the story at: #WayTooReal