(source) - Emergency room doctors see everything so it takes a lot to make one cringe -- like seeing a man impaled on a shovel. Some may find language below GRAPHIC.
Dr. Kevin Klauer, an E.R. doc based in Canton, Ohio, still remembers the day he dealt with a patient who was trying to fix his roof when he fell off and impaled himself on a shovel. The patient has not been identified for medical privacy reasons. "You can see the shovel sticking out of what appears to be the rectal area," he said on an episode of "Untold Stories Of The E.R." airing Nov. 15 on Discovery Fit & Health. "Even when you've seen a lot of bad injuries, this is really a cringe moment."
Figuring out the extent of the man's injuries was a challenge to Klauer's team, especially when they had to turn the impaled patient over to see where the shovel entered the body. "Turning somebody to examine them while they have a shovel impaled in their rectum is not something anyone's been trained to do," he said. "You have to work as a team." The man was in so much pain that he filled the hospital with his screams. Klauer is empathetic. "I don't blame him. If I had a shovel in my rectum, I'd be pretty loud too," he said. But things got worse. It turns out the shovel was actually impaled in the perineum, the patch of skin between the rectal area and the scrotum.
That created even bigger problems, according to Klauer. "He could bleed to death with seconds or minutes if there are injuries to the liver, kidneys or other organs that use a lot of blood vessels," Klauer said, who ordered a CAT Scan. After a few tense moments, the shovel was removed and the patient eventually recovered.
The man now has professionals fix his roof rather than risk another impalement.
One word: Quitter. So a shovel gets driven between your asshole and your ballsack, and that makes it okay to not fix your roof? So your wife and kids are just gonna have to deal with that leak in the ceiling while you go get your hole mended? Selfish. When others depend on you to get the job done, then you bounce back and take care of it like a man. Fall of the horse (roof), get back on type situation, just like any other.
Hammer your thumb instead of the nail? Rub it down, grab the nail and aim better. Fall of the roof and get a shovel to basically split you down the middle?... Well okay, you probably have to go straight to the ER like you did, but when you get back out you finish that shit yourself. Your family has spent enough money to fix your dumbass (literally) all because YOU 1. fell off a roof like a dummy and 2. apparently left a shovel standing straight up, creating the possibility of anal impalement. Don't make them shovel out more dough just because you're too scared to give it another shot. Suck it up and waddle back up that ladder, making sure that the shovels, or any other metallic object that could possibly go up your butt, is set down. Simple. Sometimes when you play a man's game, you pay a man's price*. Sooner you learn that, the better.
P.S. Zero interest in seeing that on T.V. Reading this story will completely suffice.
* Det. Marty Hart