(source) - BOSTON (CBS) — Cameron Shenk doesn’t look the part of a man who ran naked through Logan Airport’s JetBlue terminal and bit someone’s ear. He’s a financial manager and an economics student at Harvard Extension School. He appeared in court dressed in a suit and tie facing a long list of charges including assault with intent to murder. His eye was bruised from having fallen through ceiling tiles into an airport bathroom Saturday, one of the busiest days of the year.
Assistant District Attorney Emily Hamrock described how it happened. “He had entered a women’s bathroom, removed all his clothing, and climbed into the ceiling,” she said. The Police report describes how the woman in the stall next to him heard a crash, and ran out. He ran out behind her, then went into the men’s room, where he attacked an 84-year-old man. Police say he used the man’s cane to choke him, and bit his ear off before a struggle with police that ended with a dose of pepper spray. According to the police report, the victim told police, “The guy just jumped on me and bit my ear, I don’t remember anything else.”
Shenk’s attorney says he’s extremely remorseful and not mentally ill. His father, who flew in from Utah offered a cryptic clue. “We can learn a lot from Snow White,” said Derek Shenk. “Sometimes when you’re given an apple, it really does contain poison.” Shenk will spend Thanksgiving at the Nashua Street jail in Boston. Monday, his attorney plans to plead for a chance to post bail.
This happened like a week ago but I was out all last week so deal with it. How bout dem Ivy Leaguers, huh?! Ivy League schools just doing it big recently. It's like Harvard heard about UPenn being the number one party school in the country* and was like, "fuck that, send out Cameron Shenk. That crazy fucker will show the world how the intellects really party." And you know what? It worked. Seriously, act like you don't want to go to whatever party this kid came from and take whatever this "drug apple" is his dad is talking about. Sure, you may end up naked and pepper-sprayed sitting outside the women's restroom at Logan International, but when you run with the big boys in the Ivy's that's just a risk you have to be okay with taking. Shenk was, are you?
Now, as for the "poor" old man who lost an ear. I mean, sorry to be the guy to say it but that's on you, bro. You're traveling the week before Thanksgiving. You made that decision. And now you're telling me I gotta feel sorry for you for not having your head on a swivel? Airports, train stations, bus stops - just pure anarchy for the duration of that dreaded week, and when you sign up for that then you have no right being surprised by anything out there. You look down to enjoy your pee for one second and that's when you end up with your own cane around your neck and your ear in a 20 something's mouth. Dem's da breaks. Do better next year and maybe you'll be fully intact for Thanksgiving dinner.
P.S. If you're a woman going to the bathroom in public, is the fear of some perv crashing through the ceiling just always on your radar? I guess better safe than sorry but that has to make for stressful bathroom visits.
* Still think somebody hacked the actual party list and just stuck Penn at number 1. Unless you're talking about "best parties that take place in crowded as fuck town houses that feature a severe risk of somebody falling over a 3rd floor railing", then I call shenanigan's on that list... Love those parties, though.