(source) - New Years' resolutions might've just gotten a little easier now that McDonald's has announced it will start phasing out eight menu items at an undisclosed time. Besides holding the distinct honor of being "America's Least Favorite Fast-Food Chain," the company has faced setbacks with menus far too large to understand and tanking profits in recent months. One of the solutions to those tanking profits? Shrinking menu sizes. "Our intent is to have a cleaner menu board that is easier for customers to absorb," spokeswoman Lisa McComb said in a statement to The Huffington Post. To do so, McComb said McDonald's will be "simplifying our current menu."
Most notably, that means the fast-food chain will simply be slimming down to "one Quarter Pounder with Cheese burger vs. four; one Premium Chicken sandwich vs. three; one Snack Wrap vs. three," according to McComb. Extra Values Meals will also be reduced from 16 to 11 offerings. The company had no comment when asked if customers would be able to recreate their favorite, eliminated meals by using McDonald's new "Create Your Taste" customization program. McDonald's is currently testing out a new version of their slimmed-down menu in Delaware, Little Rock, Waco, Bakersfield, Macon and Knoxville, though there's no word on when changes will actually start nationwide for the chain, or what specifically will be taken off. Last year, McDonald's announced in March that the company would eliminate a few burgers, Chicken Selects and the Fruit & Walnut Salad.
However, one notable "ingredient" -- preservatives -- might be eliminated from the menu altogether. Mike Andres, president of McDonald's USA, sparked widespread speculation when he asked investors, "Why do we need to have preservatives in our food?" and then answered himself with a "We probably don't." Chicken fingers crossed.
Where do people stand on McDonald's these days? Personally, I won't hate. I'm not gonna sit here and act like I don't find a Big Mac to be delicious, but I think I'm like most in that McDicks is a once in a blackout operation. Which is why I find this article so astounding. Like what the fuck is McDonald's doing with such a big menu that they have to cut out 8 items due to tanking profits? You're McDonald's, bro. You have 4 items on your menu: Big Mac, Quarter Pounder w/ cheese, McNuggets and Fries. I guess you can add happy meals, breakfast and the dollar menu, but that's it. Those are literally the only things I've ever seen a person order*. Don't complicate things with other pictures on the menu of gross food we won't eat. It's no wonder that you're losing money left and right. Just over thinking a simple simple game.
P.S. Hilarious question/answer from President Andres: "Why do we need to have preservatives in our food?" and then answered himself with a "We probably don't." Sounds like there was zero research that went in to that self-answer. No clue if there are any plans for his company to do away with preservatives or not, but it's what the people want to hear. Like he was just searching for the right thing to say to give some hope that there will be improvements: Uhhh, shit what is a hot food topic these days?... Oh I know! Preservatives. "And also we don't have preservatives anymore, sooo what's up?" The man knows how to work a room, I'll give him that. You don't become president of McDonald's without a little gumption.
* That's actually not true, in college I had some friends who went on a serious Filet O'Fish kick, which I found to be a horrifically disgusting idea. Now, I'll admit that I never tried it, and I hate looking back on close-minded moments in my past, so if anyone has a pitch for why fake fish from "America's Least Favorite Fast Food" joint is actually a delicious snack then please share on the Facebook post and I'll possibly reconsider.