Huffington Post - Have you (like the rest of us) been pining over Emma Watson since she stepped on the screen as Hermione Granger? You may be in luck. As long as you haven't been making it into the tabloids recently, you're just her type.
The 23–year–old spoke with Elle Australia for their April issue about the woes of dating a celebrity and why she won't be signing up anytime soon.
"I don’t date people who are famous," Watson admitted. "I don’t think it’s fair that, all of a sudden, intimate details of their personal life are public as a direct result of me. I wish I could protect them."
Watson's theory could explain her relationship with current boyfriend Matthew Janney, a rugby player at Oxford University.
My name is Brussells and I blog for a sketch comedy website that nobody reads. Most of my day I spend on the couch or on my bed on my computer looking at stupid news stories, porn, sports, and funny videos, while taking breaks to eat, play video games, and masturbate. I've never been famous other than a few million people watching some sketches I've been a part of, probably never will be famous (without your help), and generally dislike most famous people that I know (through Twitter).
I'm writing you today because I noticed that you don't like dating famous people, and I wanted to offer a warm spot on this couch/bed (who knows which one I'll be on) right next to yours truly to satisfy your craving for the every-man. I've been a big fan of yours ever since my first wet dream involving the world of Harry Potter, and I would like nothing more than to show you how much of an impact your films have had on me (not sexual but totally sexual). I really think you'll find all of the "down-to-earth" (poor person) qualities that you're seeking are sitting right here, half naked behind a computer.
I've also noticed that you're currently dating a non-famous rugby player, which obviously impedes our ability to become a thing. I get it, the guy's fit, he goes to Oxford so he's probably smart, but come on baby, this is the 21st century. You need a guy who's tech savvy like me (can barely operate photo shop on a good day), with a solid interest and background in sports, but with no possibility of a life-altering injury (other than carpel tunnel) taking me, and therefore you, down. Who fuckin plays rugby anyway? Oh sweet, you tackle without pads and run around like it's recess for a while until somebody dives in to a bastardized end-zone (is back-stepping across the goal line not even a thing in rugby?). That shit's for the birds. You need a guy who has all the time in the world to cater to your needs, not some over-achieving meathead who puts his hands all over other dudes all day.
So choose me, Emma. Let me be your fairy tale story. The Wizard and the Blogger. The story that makes you the star, which you always deserved to be (fuck Radcliffe). Either way, I'll be keeping my eye (google searchbar) on you, you little minx.
Yours in this world and the muggles,
P.S. Seriously rugby, learn some TD dances or something. You have no idea what it will do for your game.