NY Daily News - Your sofa probably has some loose change under the cushions. This couch had $40,000 in it.
Three New Paltz, N.Y., roommates found piles of cash in a couch they picked up at a thrift shop for just $20, CBS New York reported.
Reese Werkhoven, Cally Guasti and Lara Russo were watching a movie together last month when they felt something weird in the cushions of their couch, which they bought at a Salvation Army about two months before.
Curious, Werkhoven stuck his hand under the sofa's arm. The State University of New York junior pulled out a plastic envelope. Inside: $700 in $20 bills.
"I almost peed," Werkhoven told the Little Rebellion, a student-run news site at SUNY New Paltz. "The most money I'd ever found in a couch was, like, fifty cents. Honestly, I'd be ecstatic to find just $5 in a couch."
The three began digging through the rest of the couch. They found several more envelopes containing $40,000 total.
They started thinking about what they would spend the cash on: vacations, student loans and a new car for Werkhoven's mom.
But before they could cash in their fortune, Russo found a name on one of the envelopes.
"We all agreed that we had to bring the money back to whoever it belonged to," Russo told the news site. "It's their money. We didn't earn it."
A day later, they matched the name on the envelope to a phone book listing. Werkoven called her.
"I'm like, 'I found something that I think is yours,' and she's like, 'What?!'" Werkhoven told CBS New York. "And I'm like, 'I found a couch,' and then She's like, 'oh my God, I left a lot of money in that couch.'"
The friends delivered the cash to the woman, who explained that she kept her savings — and her husband's savings — in the couch for 30 years.
After her husband died, the woman had back surgery. Thinking she was doing her mother a favor, the woman's daughter got rid of the old couch, which the woman slept on, and replaced it with a new bed.
The New York woman gave the three roommates $1,000 as a reward.
The roommates said they're lucky they could have helped.
"We almost didn't pick that couch," Russo told the Little Rebellion. "It's pretty ugly and smells, but it was the only couch that fit the right dimens
I hate them. I hate all three of them.
"Seriously guys, it's not ours. I mean it has her name on the envelope and everything, we can't just take this money."
"Yeah, I mean come on, we didn't even earn it..."
"You're right, let's give it back. By the way guys, you know what night it is!?"
"Roomie Responsibilities Night!"
"That's right guys! So I have a list of all the house responsibilities right here. Reese, you take laundry and dishes, Carly, you're on trash and bathroom, and I'll handle vacuuming and recycling! First person to finish gets a gold star and hand stuff!"
That's the only feasible type of relationship these three try-hards must have if they actually decided to give this money back. This has to be a house in which cable is bad, chores are good, bars are yucky, and handjobs are the pinnacle of existence, otherwise this makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever.
It's 40 fucking grand! It's not 200 bucks or a wallet with a credit card, that I understand giving back. This is 40k though people, and you're a 3 person household that is buying piss smelling couches cus your poor people apartment won't fit a nicer one. Honestly, as a fellow poor person, I'm insulted. Sure you may have made this old woman a little happier until her upcoming trip to the pearly gates, but you've insulted an entire generation of people your age who would literally kill for that type of dough (that's not an exaggeration, I genuinely think that 40K for a killing is a reasonable offer, probably even cheap as far as hitman's go, so if you need one.... or know a guy who does, you know, I'm just saying, I've got the spare time).
So enjoy being the good people of the week, guys! I hope that grand she tossed you on your way out the door goes a long way for ya, cus next week, when everyone forgets this story and you're sitting on your piss couch struggling to pay the upcoming rent let alone feed yourself, just remember this... it's Roomie Responsibility Night on Thursday and you're definitely going to be the one getting that star and hand stuff this time!
P.S. This woman giving them a grand is basically her telling them, "Wow, you guys are fuckin stupid. Thanks for the money I thought I'd never see again, now get the hell out of here."
P.P.S. He actually fucking said , "we didn't earn it"!!? No fucking shit, dude, that's the best kind of money ever! Like you did nothing and now you're pseudo-rich, sorry you're too good to enjoy the finer moments in life, jabroni.