Huffington Post - #DumbSelfie.
Two alleged iPhone thieves were arrested in New York over the weekend after they sent a grinning selfie to the cell phone owner's mom, PIX 11 confirms. Khayyam Alexander, 16 (seen below on the left), and Fehti Nekrouf, 18, swiped a 14-year-old boy's phone at a music venue on April 17 in Manhattan, police told Metro.
The NYPD released the photo, which allegedly shows the two boys grinning on a train away from the venue. The victim's mother reportedly received the photo on her phone shortly after it was taken.
Alexander turned himself in on Saturday, according to the New York Daily News. Nekrouf was arrested a short time later.
Both suspects were charged with petit larceny and criminal possession of stolen property.
I know this happened in April and the it's only a story now cus one of these idiots turned themselves in on Saturday, but if this isn't a great post-Memorial Day Weekend hangover story to kick off the week then I don't know what is. So I'm making the executive decision to change the story around so that it happened this past weekend. Much more relevant for most of us that way.
Before you go judging these two, go back to this weekend in your mind. You can't really, can you? That's because Memorial Day Weekend is basically your first excuse of the year to be outside in gorgeous weather and drinking your face off, so the memories have to take a backseat to the experiences. So if you can't actually remember, imagine you're at a concert (which many of you may have very well been) about 12-20 beers, and god knows how many little hits of whatever is being passed around, deep when all of a sudden you stumble on an iPhone that some fellow poor, drunken soul has dropped out of his pants. Now in normal situations, you may look around to see if you can spot an owner, but you're wasted at a concert with thousands of people, so you go the alternative route, grab your closest drunk friend and start snapping selfies with him and your brand new phone.
After the night's festivities finally die down and you've sent all of your friends hilarious selfies, you get on the train to go home, and all of a sudden realize Memorial Day is over. The beer is gone, the weed's been smoked, and work looms in the near distance, so you do what any of us would do, think of some way to try to keep the weekend alive. You scroll through the phone's contacts and find the absolute most hilarious person you could think to send a selfie to in your drunken stupor: his mom. BOOM moron-who-dropped-his-phone! How's your mom like me and drunk Bobby's giggling selfie right in her fuckin face!? Suck it loser! The precious extra laughs that you and Bobby salvage from this selfie are the only thing you can hang on to in order to extend this glorious weekend...
Until you wake up the next morning... and realize you stole a kid's phone and then texted his mom a picture of you and Bobby's stupid drunk faces... and that you now have to go to work knowing full well that you're probably going to receive a call at some point from the police telling you that Mrs. You-Stole-My-Son's-Phone has shown them a picture of you and Bobby that would seem to suggest that you two did indeed steal said phone. So at the end of the day, I can understand how such a seemingly dumb crime can happen on a weekend like this past one*, and I have to give this guy credit for just sucking it up and turning himself in before it gets any worse. Cus really, how can it get any worse than being the Tuesday after Memorial Day, anyway.
* Except it didn't happen this weekend, and there's no way this 16 year old kid has any sort of job, so fuck him and his friend. The fact that I had to invent a story for you is just making my hangover that much worse you dumbasses, grow up before you do something dumb next time.