TIME - In theory, a large number of ducks all running and quacking in unison is cute, right? Well, in practice, it turns out that it’s the kind of thing that will likely plague you with Hitchcockian nightmares for two years, minimum.
A Thai YouTube user uploaded the above video that captures the utter chaos of a duck stampede. An estimated 100,000 ducks are just running madly, wildly, uninhibitedly through a Thai street, blocking traffic and leaving psychological destruction in their wake. Where could they possibly be headed, besides straight to your bedroom to murder you in your sleep?
I'm out. That's it. If there's one thing every disaster movie has taught me it's this: when you see a large group of animals running away from something, you turn and start running right with them, because shit is about to go down. See, animals are all survival all the time. Their brains are designed solely to think about staying alive for the next second so that they can think about staying alive again the following one. If these ducks sensed that wherever they're running from is a place in which life is no longer a realistic idea, well then buy me a beak and paint me yellow cus I'm coming with, boys. Let the rest of the humans over think this obvious sign of doom and write it off as a cute phenomenon. I'll let you know what living is like when you're all dead and I'm chilling with my duck buds like it's just another day on the pond.
P.S. Am I the only one who wonders where the fuck those animals go in all of those movies? Like Day After Tomorrow, 2012, Titanic... I mean they always run to freedom obviously, right? Yeah the world is ending (or in Titanic's case the ship is sinking) so nowhere is safe, technically speaking, but there's no way you can convince me that they don't somehow figure it out. Like, those rats in Titanic are moving with a PURPOSE, they're not just wildly scurrying. I don't know where you go in the middle of the ocean as a mammal with little to no swimming ability, but I guarantee they knew, and I am desperate to know the secret.