TIME - If going through airport security wasn’t bad enough, CBS reports that a San Francisco man was arrested Tuesday after allegedly posing as a TSA officer to give two private pat downs.
Police say that the ticketed passenger went through security, was seen drinking at an airport lounge for a few hours, and then circled back to security to convince women to join him in the private screening room. CBS reports the 53-year-old might have swiped a pair of official blue gloves to look the part.
The actual agents noticed something was amiss when they saw him bringing a second woman to the booth, as male officers are only allowed to do that if a female agent is present.
The man is currently facing charges for being drunk in public.
Sure, blame the 53 year old drunk moron for figuring out a loophole that allows him to get his hands on girls who are extremely out of his league. That's the easy target in this story. Let's just ignore the completely ridiculous notion that these fucktard TSA agents didn't even notice what was going on until the second woman gets groped. That means that somehow this guy was able to to get in to the secret backroom with zero resistance. TWICE! In my head, that room has always seemed to be like the Bellagio's vault in Ocean's 11. Absolutely no way any mere mortal can get in. But apparently, all you have to do is hang around the security line with shitty blue gloves on for a bit and you're in. Huh.
Look, this guy I can understand. I'm not saying that what he did was okay in any way, and he definitely deserves some time in a prison cell to experience similar groping done on him, but I can at least wrap my head around a drunken old guy doing whatever is at his disposal to get his hands on a member of the opposite sex. What I CAN'T wrap my head around is how airport security, which we've all been led to believe is airtight-lockdown status, would just fail to notice the inebriated gentleman goading women his way behind them. Oh wait, he had the gloves on, though. Forgot about the official blue gloves that only certified TSA agents can wear, so nevermind. Totally understand how that was confusing to them. Guess we just have to hope something like this doesn't happen again because, really, how could we even think about preventing something as mastermindedly crafted as this devious plot*?
* Look around, maybe, just like once.