Huffington Post - STAHLSTOWN, Pa. (AP) — A Pennsylvania woman says she can see drivers who pull off the side of a highway relieving themselves near her backyard, and state police have been asked to increase patrols.
The woman, Crystal King, tells WTAE-TV (http://bit.ly/1pFDTKa ) that her backyard in Stahlstown, about 50 miles southeast of Pittsburgh, is separated from the Pennsylvania Turnpike by only a short fence.
King's 11-year-old son and other children in her yard can see people who pull over to relieve themselves instead of using rest areas.
King says one woman got angry when King yelled at her to stop and wound up throwing the human waste at her.
Turnpike officials say they've spoken to King and have asked police for more patrols.
Hey Crystal, why don't you stop being so selfish for once in your life? Maybe think about somebody other than yourself, like the poor poor soul forced to drive that miserable stretch of road that connects Philadelphia and Pittsburgh. I speak, of course, of the Pennsylvania Turnpike, which, as anyone who's had to drive on it can attest to, is probably the most boring and soul-sucking stretch of highway in all the land.
You live right next to it, Crystal! You must know what it's like to drive miles and miles with nothing to look at outside your window besides concrete and terrifyingly-driven 18 wheelers. If anything, you should see the fact that people recognize your well-kept, healthy green lawn as a haven of beauty in an otherwise dead landscape. So we piss and shit on it. No need to sugarcoat it, Crystal. We're primal creatures by nature, we see beauty, we want to own it and we do so by any means necessary. Can't take your lawn home, but I sure as shit can leave it something to remember me by.
I mean sure, we could use the rest stops that pop up once every 50 miles, but I'm already on the damn PA turnpike. I don't need to be any more depressed than that. And trust me, there is only one word that can pop in to a person's head when you are in the same vicinity as the deadly combination of Roy Rogers and Sbarro: depression.