(source) - A mother has filed a formal complaint against a Minnesota police department after her 5-year-old son's pet chicken was decapitated by the chief. Atwater Police Chief Trevor Berger said he killed the chicken on Aug. 16th because it violated the city's ordinance that prohibits fowls, the West Central Tribune reported.
Though Ashley Turnbull admits she had received warnings at least a week in advance about the ordinance, she said there was no reason to beat her son's chicken to death with a shovel before decapitating it. Turnbull said the chicken had been a birthday gift for her son, Phoenix.
“The chicken was like a puppy dog to my son,” Turnbull told the publication. “You wouldn’t do that to a puppy.”
Berger said he arrived at the home and chased the chicken in a nearby yard for 10 to 15 minutes before deciding to stop it with a shovel. The police chief said he didn't want to dispatch the chicken with a gun because children were playing nearby. He also claimed he didn't realize the chicken's head had been left in the yard when he left the scene.
“I guess I don’t regret it, because it’s like taking care of any rodent in town,” Berger said.
“I still feel he owes my son an apology and he owes us a chicken," Turnbull said.
The issue will be addressed Wednesday at a city council meeting.
I think this is the first time in the short history of the Shorts Show blog that I'm actually siding with the police. Look lady, you bought your son a fucking chicken. You're an asshole. What the hell did you think was gonna happen when you made that purchase? Even if this cop didn't go full Old Man Marley (Home Alone reference like whoa) on your son's fowl, what was the best possible outcome that you foresaw? In no case does this decision work out well, none. Even if the chicken survives, now your son is the weird kid in school with the pet chicken, and you're the psycho mom who gets too outspoken at PTA meetings and has everyone whispering, "oh, that's the lady who bought her son a pet chicken? Yep, that makes sense. She would be against SmartBoards..."
And are you serious with that, "he was just like a puppy dog to my son. You wouldn't do that to a puppy dog," quote? Uh, no shit you wouldn't do that to a puppy dog, cus puppy dogs have feelings and can are scientifically capable of affection. Chickens are flightless birds with the sole purpose of becoming food. So if that chicken was like a puppy to your son, then you've either never been around puppies or you really bought in to the plot of Chicken Run and have overestimated the emotional and intellectual capabilities of chickens. The damn city warned you that chickens aren't pets, you didn't listen, and Chief Berger had to come and traumatize the children in your neighborhood. Now is your chance to see this as a break for you and a chance at redemption, so drop that complaint and go get your kid an actual puppy... and hopefully you'll learn the subtle differences between the two species.
P.S. There's no way you can picture the poor Police Chief chasing this chicken through backyards, with a shovel, and not laugh. And it's so easy to put yourself in his shoes, too, cus that had to be such a frustrating venture:
- At first, trying to catch it humanely.
- Realizing it's hard to just catch a chicken.
- Frustratedly contemplating unloading a clip in it's stupid feathered face.
- Seeing the neighborhood children watching and holstering the gun.
- Awkwardly trying to make it funny cus now there's an audience. The children have no reaction.
- Finally going beyond frustrated in to straight fury, grabbing a shovel from the corner and bashing it to smithereens, Daniel Plainview style.
Can't say I would've done it any differently.