(source) - A man famous for allegedly bending spoons with his mind is now explaining what the fork is up with the iPhone 6. Uri Geller, who rose to fame in the 1970s by claiming he could bend spoons just by staring at them, now says he's figured out why the iPhone 6 is so prone to bendability.
“There are two possible explanations,” Geller told MarketWatch. “Either the phone is so seriously thin and flimsy that it is bendable with mere physical force, which I cannot believe given the extensive tests Apple would have done. Or -- and this is far more plausible -- somehow the energy and excitement of the 10 million people who purchased iPhones has awakened their mind powers and caused the phones to bend.”
Geller is now hoping to bend the ear of Apple executives and convince them to hire him as a public spokesman and prevent customers with bent iPhones from getting bent out of shape.“I urge Apple to hire me to explain to the world that this is not the company’s fault at all,” he told MarketWatch. However, Geller may not be the best Apple spokesman since he admits he is loyal to his Blackberry -- a phone that he claims he can also bend with his mind.
Apple execs apparently believe the so-called "Bend-gazi" controversy has been bent out of proportion since only nine people have reported the problem. there may be a problem hiring Geller to explain his massive mind power theory problem to the world. Ever since the 1970s, magicians like James Randi have shown that Geller's signature act of bending spoons psychically can easily be replicated, according to the Skeptics Dictionary.
Randi, the founder of the James Randi Educational Foundation, an organization dedicated promoting skeptical thinking, "If Uri Geller bends spoons with divine powers, then he's doing it the hard way."
Well, there you go. Bend-gazi solved. We all just got super pumped, a little too bonered up for the new iPhone 6, and created a massive mind-bending-power-cloud that bent all of our new phones. Next issue, please.
For reals though, how the fuck do I know if this guy isn't right? Hell, Apple probably doesn't even know for sure. I mean, he's gotta be right in terms of how much these products are tested, and I'd hope that the largest computer company in the world would catch a massive malleability flaw (say that 10 times fast) in it's most coveted new product. So if we assume that's the case, can you tell me how phones are bending like hot cakes? No, you can't. Cus you're simple minded. Guys like me and Uri Geller up here understand that the depths of human mind abilities goes as deep as we say they go. If we say we bend iPhones then we shall bend iPhones. After all, there is no spoon...
P.S. Credit where credits due, this is just a next level business mindset. "Oh what's that you say? Your small metallic object happens to be bending? Well today's your lucky day cus you'll never guess what I specialize in..." Respect the hustle.