When a Brazilian taxi driver got into a bar brawl, he didn't know when the fight actually came to a head -- his head. Juacelo Nunes de Oliveira, 39, was stabbed during an argument, and it took more than three hours before he realized there was a blade running through his skull to his jaw bone, CNN reports. Oliveira was at a party in Agua Branca last Sunday when he was stabbed four times; three times in the torso -- one of which perforated a lung -- and once in the head. He was driven to a nearby hospital and transferred to an emergency facility in Teresina, 62 miles away.
"He had the knife lodged in his head for this whole period but he was not aware of it," Dr. Gilberto Albuquerque told CNN. "We believe the shock and a bit of the drinking may have helped him not to understand the knife was still in his head." X-ray photos released by the military to CNN and Globo show the knife protruding from behind his left eye. Albuquerque said the knife stopped only when it struck the victim's lower jaw. Doctors told 9News that Oliveira is lucky to be alive. The surgery took two and a half hours, and Oliveira reportedly walked out of the hospital five days later.
"The knife crossed his head just behind the optical nerve, got very close to the olfactory nerve and (was) just a fraction from the gustatory nerve," Albuquerque told 9News. "He could have been blinded and could have lost his senses of smell and taste, but none of that happened and he is alive and healthy." Oliveira's attackers are still at large.
Welcome to 2015 ya'll! What better way to start the blogging year than with a classic face knifing story? Look at that fucking picture. Honestly, I don't think this was an accident. The odds of him not being killed, losing an eye ball, slicing a mouth tendon*, etc. when that knife drove through his face are so slim that his attacker must have meant to do this. As a matter of fact, this fuckin Oliveira fella should be thanking the stabber for sparing him, cus clearly he picked a fight with the wrong hombre at the bar. I mean, we don't have any of the circumstances behind this fight. So I'm going to assume that Oliveira was shit hammered on New Years, pissed off that his last 10 fares ditched without paying (the perils of being a Brazilian cab driver), ends up on the wrong side of the favela where he throws some unfavorable language toward a guy you don't throw unfavorable language at. Lucky for Oliveira this guy's a real pro, he knows better than to homicide a guy in the middle of a bar. So he kicks a bit of teeth in and lodges a knife directly in to home boy's face to remember him by. Next time he won't be so generous, homes. So hang that fuckin x-ray above your bed to remind yourself to think twice before talkin shit to people you don't know at bars. Lesson we all learn one way or another.
* Mouths have tendons, right?