(source) - Some families in Concord, California, turned 50 shades of red when they discovered their local drive-in was playing "SpongeBob SquarePants" simultaneously with "Fifty Shades Of Grey." The West Wind Solano Drive-In has two screens, one facing to the north, the other facing west. This weekend, one screen was showing the family-friendly "SpongeBob SquarePants: Sponge Out Of Water" while the other one was featuring "Fifty Shades."
The contrast was a slap in the face to Deborah Powell of Vallejo, who took her kids to the drive-in on Sunday night. "We had no choice but to go straight head on to '50 Shades of Gray' in the background. Well, in the front," Powell told KTVU TV. "At the time, there was a woman being slapped, naked, bound up. So we had to have our children close their eyes. I could see another car behind us that had children in there with their eyes closed." Powell said a drive-in employee apologized to her and admitted there had been other complaints. Syufy Enterprises, the company that runs the West Wind Solano Drive-In, has not responded to numerous media inquiries, CBS San Francisco reports.
Some parents who took their kids to "SpongeBob" said the smaller kids focused on "SpongeBob," but tweens and teens couldn't help but be distracted by the R-rated "Fifty Shades." "It was weird to see these kids all around though walking to and from the concession stands with the huge butt-naked scenes on the next screen," Monica Arias said, according to the San Jose Mercury News. "There was no way to avoid it, really."
The West Wind Solano Drive-In isn't the only movie theater that is getting a beat down from SpongeBob fans. On Monday, the MetroLux 14 theater in Denver accidentally started showing "Fifty Shades of Grey" in a theater scheduled to show "SpongeBob." "People ran out of there," Joe Jaramillo told the Denver Post. "You could hear little kids going, 'SpongeBob! SpongeBob!' as the parents were dragging them out." The film was quickly taken off the screen. A spokesman for the theater says the mistake was caused by a chip problem in the server.
Welp, good news is I guess you get to knock out that birds and the bees talk pretty early. Never a fun conversation to have and probably pretty awkward to start, but thanks to the good people at the West Wind Solano you now pretty much have to do it.
The best part of this story though is the other fuckin theater that "accidentally" started playing 50 Shades instead of Spongebob. That's an impossible mistake. Like the drive-in one I get because the people who run a drive-in can't have much going for them in the way of functioning brains, so seeing them just not get why putting those two films up next to each other may not be a great plan is pretty easy. But a legit movie theater is a completely different story. That's an inside job. We've got a full on fight club situation on our hands here. Somebody at that place is fed up with the machine and felt like destroying something beautiful.
And I get that it's a pretty fucked up thing to do, probably pretty scarring and all, but there is just no way around the fact that the image of a screaming little Denver (probably Mormon*) kid calling out for Spongebob while his mother is dragging him by the arm away from that dirty dirty theater is utterly hilarious. So yes, that theater needs to get it's shit together and track down the Tyler Durden responsible for this disgraceful act... but props to him for creating a funny as shit image in my head.
Also, side note on 50 Shades of Grey - Say what you want about the movie, I don't think I'm ever actually gonna see it, but FUCK if that wasn't a genius marketing plan to release that shit on VDay. It hits on so many levels: chicks who read the book wanted see it, chicks who have bfs they want to do weird shit with wanted see it, dudes who have gfs they wanted do weird shit with wanna see it, chicks who are alone and pent up and "hate valentine's day so fucking much when I'm alone, need a fucking me night..." wanted see it, dudes who are creepy and horny and probably fat and wear exclusively trench coats and sneakers and probably would've gone regardless of whether it was VDay or not wanted to see it. Basically every market hit cus of one stupid day. I was even going to see it ironically with friends**! Whole other category right there! Smart business even if it's being called the biggest piece of shit ever. I ain't never taken a shit worth a few hundred million dollars, so good for them.
* That's technically a guess but come on, Mormons have to live in Denver. Seems like a real Mormon place in my head.
** Totally not cus I wanted do weird shit with my gf...