Brooklynites love to get their freak on, and they like it loud -- so loud that the neighbors are complaining.
DNAinfo ran the numbers on loud sex complaints in the Big Apple and found that Brooklyn leads all boroughs in noise grievances. The publication found that 42 of the 133 loud sex complaints made through the city's 311 service between January 2014 and February 2015 came from Brooklyn.
The analysis pins the most complaints to 7201 Ridge Blvd. in Bay Ridge, a deceptively sleepy neighborhood in southwest Brooklyn that's probably best known for its ethnic food and conservative politics. In fact, DNAinfo found that neighbors at the aforementioned address complained about one couple in particular six times between November and December.
“Neighbors are having very loud sex with the windows open that can be heard throughout the whole [building]," one complaint, filed at 4:40 a.m. Nov. 14, 2014, said.
Oh, New York: Don't ever change!
Nice work, fellow Brooklynites. Never bad to have a stat showing that we like to pound more than most. But really all this story proves is how fuckin thin Brooklyn apartment walls are.
I mean I'm sure people in (some parts of) Manhattan are having sex at a similar sound level as their trendier neighbors, but Brooklyn apartments have the absolute thinnest, bullshittiest walls of all time. In fact, as I'm writing this, I'm listening to the unbelievably loud barking of a dog that belongs to my neighbor TWO STORIES BELOW ME, and I'm not even sort of exaggerating when I see that it sounds like the dog is in my fuckin bathroom. When my next door neighbors have more than 3 people over at one time it sounds like they're throwing a mini Woodstock/ Greek orgy, when in reality they're having like artisanal cheese tastings. I've heard them pound, and I'm sure they've heard me pound as well. That's just that paper thin wall life. If you can't handle it then take your ass over the bridge where the sex is too tame to warrant police intervention.
So I guess congrats, Brooklyn. We have loud ass sex, which is just a nice way to say that we have walls constructed out of paper machete and landlord's dreams (read: indifference).