LEXINGTON, Neb. (AP) — A Nebraska man has been accused of stealing a riding lawn mower from a Wal-Mart store and driving it off the lot. The Kearney Hub reports a sheriff's deputy found a man driving the mower Wednesday about 10 miles from the store where it was stolen during the weekend.
Forty-nine-year-old Gursham Gillett, of Cozad, was arrested and charged with one count each of theft by shoplifting and criminal mischief. He's accused of stealing the mower from a Wal-Mart Supercenter in Lexington. Security footage shows a man entering the store, fueling up the lawn mower, cutting a chain link fence where the mower was stored and taking off on it. The video shows the man cutting another fence on Interstate 80 before driving out of the camera's view.
Getting caught is all on this guy. Bro, how you gonna plan on driving a lawnmower to a location over ten miles away? Either you live closer to this Wal-Mart or you buy a pickup or a van and plant it like two blocks away so that you can load it up and take off, duh. It's a fucking lawnmower, high speed getaway is clearly not the route to take in this situation. Good lord, it's like I gotta do all your crime for you these days.
Side note: the cops didn't get him for 10 fuckin miles on a lawnmower? That thing has gotta be going under 10mph, right? So you're telling me cops took over an hour to track this guy down on the highway? That's not real. Sounds like they weren't even looking for him, like highway patrol got the call in and just were like "meh, we can wait, he's on a goddamn lawnmower like one exit away, it's not like he's going anywhere." Cus if they were actually chasing him, this is a clown ass police force.