Awesome. So over the top, so ridiculously serious, so perfect. Queen's Guard is just such an overly dramatic position in general, so this is pretty much exactly how I would expect one of them to react when touched by a harmless Asian tourist*. Would've been way funnier if he was one of the douchebags who just stands still all day as opposed to this marching douche, but hey, you take what you can get when it comes to Queen's Guard reaction videos.
Couple quick things that this video made me think about:
1) Is that rifle really necessary? I mean bro, you're a straight up novelty soldier, you don't need a fucking assault rifle with a grenade launcher attachment like you're some sort of custom mod in Call of Duty. If shit goes down, you are NOT the one in charge of protecting the queen. They got like 100 James Bond level agents on call for when it starts to get real at the palace, homie, you're much more decorative than practical at this point in history. Pretty sure you should just get a musket and commit to the role that you signed up for, which was to be an emotionless robot of a man that stands there with an absurdly large hat while tourists see how close they can come to your ear without actually giving you a wet willy. I'm not saying it's glamorous, but it's what you signed up for. Which brings me to point 2:
2) Who the fuck signs up for this position? What kind of psychopath grows up wanting to be one of these guys? Are there people who go to Buckingham Palace as children, see those morons standing still and think, "there it is, there's the dream - become a desensitized human statue with a gun that people can try to beat in staring contests." That has to be it, actually. It has to just appeal to the super competitive staring contest people. Like that's the peak of competitive staring. If you were a kid who was an extremely gifted starer and you followed your talents to the top of the ladder, well welcome to the Queen's Guard, good sir. Here's your stupid hat and your M18 rifle, try not to blow any Asian tourists away when they can't resist the urge to touch your shoulder. You've really made it.
* Is this Asian kid a dickhead or just totally oblivious? I can't decide. Is that racist? Like if he was white I definitely think dickhead 10 times out of 10, but Asian tourists are just so happy all the time and so seemingly oblivious to their surroundings that it wouldn't surprise me if he touched the guy with sincere hopes that he would drop the act and get in position for an awesome selfie.... yeah okay it's racist, I'll answer myself. Guess he's just a dickhead then.